Compliments

Before falling into sleep last night, my mind raced with questioning and uncertainty.  That was followed by two bizzaro vivid dreams that I remember distinctly.  I believe I had a third dream that I can not recall now.  I also woke up an hour early for my typical Saturday rising and I sat in my living room feeling what I can only describe as off.  I facebooked (yes, facebooked is a verb) for awhile and then sat staring into space.  "What am I going to do with the next two hours?"  You see, my husband sleeps in until 11am on Saturdays (and that's only because that's when I can't take it any more and get him out of bed).  So I got myself ready for the day and went on a walk around town.  I hoped it would re-center me and disipate my "off" feelings.

And to some extent it did help: being in the sun, getting my blood pumping a bit, walking and thinking...
but then I took a short stroll by the swamp and was overcome by horseflies.  Little, triangle shaped, emerald green, sting like a bee horseflies.  One landed on my glasses.  I didn't like that much.  If I watched my shadow, I could see them swarm around me, landing on my head and shoulders.  That freaked me out.  One got caught in my hat.  That REALLY freaked me out.  I swatted and squirmed and even ran, but they persisted that I was sweet and worth it (which really, who could deny?)  I finally escaped into my cool air conditioned apartment with only a few itchy bumps from successful bites. 

But the feeling of being off returned and thinking about the horseflies sent me into a crying fit.  Knowing Corey and I planned to read at Muddys I retreated upstairs in search of a new book.  Scanning my shelf of "Books to Read" my gaze stumbled upon a wee little journal I had forgotten existed.  In it are several pages of compliments given to me during my college years that I transcribed.  I read the pages and found myself feeling better, even positive.

So thanks to those who saw something worth complimenting back in the day.  You probably don't even know you made it in this book, but what you said then helped make today good again.

Stupid horseflies.