I miss you still.

Two months after moving, I continue to miss my MACU friends.  I really enjoy being in Georgia and am making friends fast, but there is nothing like a college campus.

Living on campus, people are always around.  If we wanted to be with people, we simply walked across the field.  We thoroughly enjoy having people over and at MACU our apartment was hang-out central.  Once we had 30 some people over throughout the entire night, 20 at one time.  I don't miss having to restock my fridge all the time, but I do miss the campus atmosphere.

I miss the banquets, play practices, evening services, quality chapels, open dorms, basketball games,... There always seemed to be something going on.

Students would often drop by my office throughout the day seeking advice, a listening ear, or just to chat.  I enjoyed listening to their thoughts and miss the random conversations.

Wandering the halls of the women's dorm, I never knew what would happen.  Would I stumble into a hot mess of drama that needed a mediator?  Would a student need encouragement to get off the phone and get on her homework?  Would I find myself with a group of girls giggling ourselves silly?  Would a random group of us block the entire hallway as we sat on the floor talking about everything and yet nothing at all?  I miss the MACU ladies.

I miss eating lunch in the Dining Hall, hearing people laughing, singing "drunken" birthday wishes, and witnessing the future of the church interacting with some of the greatest minds I know.

I miss the professors.  I miss Dr. Fields' quirky personality and vast knowledge.  I miss McKinney's genuineness, accurate empathy, and unconditional positive regard.  I miss Dr. Bob's heart for the students.  I miss Amanda's encouragement and ability to brighten any day.  And Larsen was just getting comfortable with me!

I especially miss the crew, the handful of students with whom Corey and I spent the majority of our free time.  The few who even when I needed to get away from people I still wanted around.  I miss how all our individual personalities meshed together and interacted; we all had our own oddities that kept things interesting.  Fitting everyone into our small living room was always a feat.  Deciding what we were going to do was practically impossible, but lent itself to adventures we couldn't have planned.  Home-made boats, exercise ball battles, Nerf gun wars, wrestling matches, walks on east campus and around town, putting together a puzzle, board games, weird crafts, standing in the kitchen discussing theology and life and generally sharing in it together.  The crew became my second family and I miss them dearly.

As much as I continue to miss the MACU community, I am glad to be here in Georgia.  I know God has called Corey and I here and I am confident that He has a plan for those still in North Carolina.  I'm glad we were all together for a time and look forward to getting together again to talk about how God is working through each of us.

Creeper?

Tonight I went to a fundraiser at a local shop called The Nest.

My friend introduced me to the owners, a mother and daughter, when I first moved to the area and I finally stopped in last week.  I was surprised that they remembered me and was enthralled with the shop's quaint and artistic atmosphere.  On display was a skirt that I couldn't stop thinking about; two days later I was back to get a closer look and I talked to the daughter who actually made the piece.

Over the weekend Corey informed me that The Nest was hosting a fundraiser event for the local hospital.  It was a girls only, bingo, pajama party and I didn't want to miss it!  I invited one of my new friends to go with me, but due to circumstances beyond her control she had to cancel.  At first I was hesitant to go alone, but the thought of meeting new people and having a good time with other ladies from the community overcame my fears.  I donned my leopard print fleece pants and headed out the door.

I had a great time!  I exchanged small talk with the owners, wandered around the store, ate a few snacks, learned about heart disease in women, and played bingo.  When I got home, I posted a few short video clips from the night on Facebook to share my adventure with my friends.

The night went on.

Then I'm laying in bed, recalling the evening and I stop...

and I wonder...

Could they think I'm some type of creeper?  Because from their perspective...
I came in twice in one week.
And then a third time for their after-hours fundraiser.
I was the only person who commented on their Facebook post about the event.
I came alone.
I didn't say much to really anyone but them.
I posted two videos within an hour of the event.
I sent them a friend request.
And I blogged about it at 1am.

Hmmm...

Yeah... maybe.

Or maybe I'm just really good for business.

Girls Only: Part Two

Check out Part One before reading Part Two!

Love your hair

Ok, this I certainly know something about.  If you know anything about me, or even just see me, you know I care about my hair.  I could be dressed to the nines, but that doesn't amount to a hill of beans if I'm having a bad hair day.  A bad haircut and I feel in the dumps for two weeks.  Hair is important!  Now, it may not be as important to you as it is to me, but no one can deny how a good hair day lifts one's spirits.  And if you are one of those ladies who couldn't care less about your hair (and trust me, we know who you are) you should try loving your hair and see if it changes your confidence level.

First and foremost, find a hairdresser you like and stick with her.  She will come to know your hair intimately, how you style it, what products you use and what products may work better, how much volume it has, what other styles may be better suited for your hair and face shape, how much you are willing to "risk" and change when it comes to your most important accessory.  A knowledgable hairdresser is one of your best fashion tools.

Communicate with your hairdresser.  No one knows what you want better than you.  Bring in pictures to give her an idea of what you are looking for and don't be afraid to ask her to change something.  Even if she is totally offended (which she won't be), you will leave the salon and she won't give your haircut a second thought.  You on the other hand have to face yourself everyday so leave happy.

Beauty magazines instruct women not to care about the price of a good haircut and to some extent, I agree.  However, not all of us are rolling deep in the green and have no choice but to consider the cost.  So instead I suggest that you find a hairdresser you like and tip her generously.  A happy hairdresser will make time for you, be more open to criticism and requests, and be willing to take the extra time to ensure your happiness with your do.

You wear it everyday so love your hair.

Love yourself

All the clothes in the world and the perfect hair day won't do squat if you first don't love yourself.  Sure, those things may help make some days better than others, but it is only temporary.  The root of the issue is women accepting themselves.

I know this is easier (MUCH easier) said than done and I still have to grow in this area as well.  A lot has been said on this topic and I'm sure the typical advice, cliches, and mantras are already running through your mind.   So instead of giving you the run of the mill answers here, I'd like to share one practice that has helped me overcome a lot of my own insecurities.

Early in my marriage, I began getting ready for the day in the nude.  A book I read suggested such and I thought I'd give it a try.  At first it was weird and awkward; I felt exposed (obviously) and vulnerable (can you feel vulnerable with yourself?).  But slowly I became comfortable with myself.  Without trying I focused less on what I viewed as imperfections and began seeing the whole.  I noticed little unique features I wouldn't have otherwise and gained an appreciation for the body God gave me.  Then one day I found myself struggling to find an outfit that did my naked figure justice.  I certainly don't feel like this every day, but through this practice I have become very comfortable with my body and have shed a lot of my insecurities.  I now know my body very well and that knowledge has impacted my confidence more than I could have imagined. At times I still lack confidence, I still compare myself to others, I still become jealous, I still feel undesirable, but the frequency is less and has become much more manageable.  I owe it all to the 45 minutes I spend with my bare self every day.

Love others

God designed us to be others focused.  When we love on others, when we compliment and encourage our girlfriends, when we take a friend out who couldn't otherwise afford to, when we listen to someone in need, when we take the focus off of ourselves, God fills us with an unquenchable joy.  Being a servant is fulfilling.  One of the simplest ways I do this is by complimenting strangers.  Being caught off guard, they welcome my compliment and smile.  I'm glad to bring a little joy to their lives, but I believe I get more out of this small act than they do.  What is something you can do on a regular basis to take the focus off of yourself and love others?

As I said, I am no expert when it comes to being comfortable and confident in my own skin, but I've learned a few things, read a few books, picked up a few tips from magazines, and over time overcome a lot of my own insecurities.  I hope that something I've put into practice over the past few years can assist you in your journey.  And I could still use some improvement so if you have other confidence boosting practices, please share!

By the way, you look amazing today!

Girls Only: Part One

This is just for my female readers.  Seriously guys, stop reading.  I promise if you keep reading you'll find yourself bored and wondering if you were reading my blog or Cosmo.  Go back to your sports while the ladies and I have a heart to heart.  Thanks!

When it comes to confidence in our bodies, the female gender is lacking across the board.  We don't accept compliments well, we shy away from anything that may bring our physical "imperfections" to light, we pay boo-koo bucks on cosmetic surgery and items that will cover, tuck, lift, enlarge, decrease, darken, smooth, accentuate and understate our features.  Men are attracted to confident women (not conceited, confident).  I believe all women want to be confident not just for the guys, but for ourselves.  I don't claim to be an expert by any means when it comes to fashion, style, or feeling comfortable in my own skin.  However, I have picked up on a couple things in the past few years and adopted some practices that I find to be helpful in my own confidence level and I would like to share these with my sisters.

Love your wardrobe

Don't buy an article of clothing that you aren't in love with.  It shouldn't matter if the price tag is $100 or $1, if you don't love it don't buy it.  You aren't getting a "deal" on a $15 top marked down to $3 if you'll never wear it.  Don't trick yourself; that "deal" top that doesn't fit just right but you feel you can't pass up because of the savings is cluttering your wardrobe and bringing you down.  Once it's in your closet, the price tag doesn't matter.  You don't stand before your clothes and think, "I only paid a dollar for this top!  I'm totally wearing it today!"  You care about the fit and how it makes you feel.  The top that makes you feel fantastic (heck even the grungy yet comfortable hoodie) will always win over the "deal" top that cuts circulation off to your arms.

(Side note- I am not advocating spending astronomical amounts of cash for your wardrobe.  I always go straight for the clearance racks at stores and look at the price tags before I try a thing on.  Price does matter when it comes to my bank account, so I try to prevent myself from falling in love with something I can't afford.)

Wear cute underthings.  Stop buying the cheap grannie panties and buy something that you will feel good in.  It doesn't matter if no one will see them.  This is not for some man; it is for you!  Buy bras you like and that fit properly.  I used to spend a pretty penny on "good bras" that I never felt attractive in and if later decided I didn't like, felt guilty for not wearing.  Now I shop for my bras at Ross, spending only 6 to 12 dollars.  If I later find I don't like the way it fits, no big deal.  But more often than not, I love how they fit and how I feel in them.  And as an added bonus, I can purchase more for my money and they last just as long as my other pricey brassieres.  So treat yourself to something that will make you feel beautiful/girly/cute/sexy/desirable.  Actually, treat yourself to a whole drawer full!

Remember, it's for you!  You dressed up today just because you felt like it.  You curled your hair because you wanted to feel exceptionally pretty today.  You wore stilettos and lace underthings with your jeans and hoodie because you wanted to feel comfortable and sexy.

**Stay tuned for Part Two!**

Google Shout-Out

Corey and I have become strong google advocates.  Why?  Where to begin?!?

Two words- Google Chrome.  Google Chrome is an amazing browser that you should download right now!  Google Chrome allows multiple tabs to be open at once along with the ability to change their order.  The user can move a separate window into a tab on another window.  Google Chrome remembers the most frequently visited sites and when a blank tab is opened, shows them for quick access.  Closed tabs can be reopened.  Bookmarks are easily accessible.  Google Chrome eliminates unnecessary browser features providing more screen space.  The url navigation and search bars are one in the same.  There are LOADS of short cuts and it is generally faster.  Have you still not downloaded it?  What are you waiting for?!?

After downloading Google Chrome, you should create a Google account.  With one log-in and password, you will have access to a myriad of services.  For example, with a google account you now have a youtube account, which will track your history and you can make playlists with.  You have the potential to have a blog.  You have a calendar, which you can share with others.  You could have a g-mail account.  My favorite (and the real inspiration of this post), you have a reader.

With Google Reader, all the sites you go to individually to check for updates you can follow in one location.  Just plug in the url and not only will your reader notify you when the website updates, but it will also post the update on your reader so you never have to navigate away from the site.  I follow 10 blogs with my reader.  Corey follows 56 different sites!!!

Of course I could go on and on, but why waste your time when you could be discovering it for yourself.  Go, get a google account and explore the possibilities!

Late Night Whining

Wednesday evening I began to feel sick: my throat was scratchy, my body ached, and talk about mucous.  I was afraid I had strep while others said the flu.  Thursday morning, no improvement.  Thursday afternoon I was feeling significantly better.  Thursday night, my throat was scratching and sore and my sinuses complaining again and Friday morning was the same.  Friday afternoon like clock work I was feeling better and then Saturday morning not so much again.

Let's insert what I thought was the problem.  Wednesday afternoon I was cutting foam insulation board with a jigsaw and without a mask.  Thursday afternoon the same.  That seemed to be the connection until Saturday morning I was feeling gross again.  I chalked that up to just getting it all out of my system and last night I was feeling fine and looking forward to being over this self inflicted mess.

Then I wake at 4:20am with a sore, scratchy throat and sinus issues.  Are you kidding me?!?  I was so frustrated I almost began to cry.  I felt so helpless and clueless as to what is plaguing me.  My groggy mind concluded that whatever is making me want to rip out my throat must be in my bed.  So I sit here at 5am, as my husband dreams, complaining while listening to the washing machine (hopefully) decontaminating my bed spread.

Would you like to hear a story?

     How about the one about the step-sister made servant who is visited by her fairy godmother one special evening, given the makeover of a lifetime, and swept off her feet by the prince?
     Or the one about seven hard working minors dedicated to protecting a beautiful maiden in distress?
     Or the street boy who was granted wishes by a friendly genie, falls for the stunning princess, and discovers true love?
     Or the mermaid who gave up her voice to be with the one she loves?
     Or the virgin who was visited by an angel with a message that she was with child?

Using the term "story" in relation to Jesus Christ just grates my nervous.  I believe it casts a shade of fantasy and fiction.  I understand that English speakers also use the term "story" in relation to true events- movies are based on true stories, we share our personal stories with each other all the time.  However, movies are only a version of the real thing with altered facts to make it a better viewing experience and our retellings of events are often doused with exaggeration and skewed by our personal perspectives.  This is not the case when it come to the Bible.

I fear, especially with children, that simply by using this term we are putting Jesus in the category of the Disney Princesses, bedtime nursery rhymes, and Santa.  One of my close friends views this to be more of a positive than a negative, expressing that when their children are old enough to distinguish fiction from reality, they will investigate the Jesus story and thus solidify their faith.  Yes, possibly.  I am not saying that simply altering one term will prevent a child's confusion or suddenly convince an agnostic the truth of the Scriptures, but I don't see how it couldn't hurt.

Personally, I want to begin using the terminology "Biblical accounts" and the "news of Jesus."  In his book Church Planter, Darrin Patrick writes, "The writers of the New Testament refer to the obedient life, sacrificial and atoning death, and powerful resurrection of Jesus as news because they are reporting actual events that occurred in history..."  While the Father of Lies prowls the earth looking for someone to devour, I think changing my vocabulary is a simple war tactic to help in the fight against the deception of the enemy.

So would you like to hear a story, something sugary sweet that will tickle your ear?  Or would you like to hear the news about Jesus and his unconditional love for you?

This is what happens when you don't post my comments...

I thoroughly enjoy reading the blog of my friend Amanda Avery.  God has gifted her with an adorable, fun, conservative, bubbly, fired-up-balanced-with-wit-and-compassion personality and a quiet spirit that pours out in her writing, which God has also gifted her for.  I often find it to be uplifting and inspiring.  (While I was trying to find the words to describe Amanda, I found myself smiling uncontrollably and my heart was lighter than it had been before.  She just has a way about her.)  Check out this recent post.  Isn't she phenomenal?!?

Other times, I must confess, it makes me ill.  I become jealous: jealous of her gifts, jealous of her positive nature, jealous of how much she is loved by others, jealous that she is with those I love, jealous that her blog has more followers than mine, jealous of her heart.  I want to wake at 6am to sip on tea while I pray and journal.  I want my kids to say funny things and surprise me with their thoughts on God and life (well, if I had kids...).  I want to inspire others to be better than they are.  I want a cool nickname. 

And jealousy evolves.

I feel guilty that I don't roll out of bed until the sun is well into the sky.  I feel shameful that it is a well known fact that the first hour of my day is MINE and I am not to be bothered.  I fear I lack commitment because I can't keep a Bible reading schedule to save my physical life and have never been able to journal consistently.  Am I too busy?  Am I not positive enough?  Am I not fun enough?  Am I too worried?

Then I hear God whisper- "You are not Amanda."

But I want to be!

"I don't."

::breath::  Right.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

In his book Church Planter, Darrin Patrick writes, "Our focus should be on getting close to God... Different people will find different practices helpful.  So each one of us needs to learn how we best cultivate dependence on the Holy Spirit.  There is no formula: our goal should be simply to do whatever we need to do to cultivate more of a sense of dependence on God in our lives."

I need to stop comparing myself to others.  I need to stop focusing on what they have, how they are wired, and what they need and consider what I have, how I am wired, and what I need to draw nearer to the heart of God.

I had been thinking about all this when Amanda updated her blog with this post.  Funny.  I got it God; couldn't have said it louder than that.

And by the way Amanda, I am now very aware of using the word amazing and have excluded it from this post just for you!

Post 100 of 100

I made it!  Post 100 of 100!
Fireworks!  Explosions!  Confetti!

As a reminder, on June 25, 2010 my husband gave me a new camera with the task of taking one picture everyday and posting it on the internet.  It has taken me over 100 days to complete, 223 to be exact, but here we are- finally at the end.

And at the end, what do I desire to write about?

My husband.

I am madly in love with Corey Jones.  I am continually impressed with his integrity, character, and spiritual leadership.  He inspires me to be a better person.  I am honored to receive his love and proud to be his wife.  Life with Corey is always an adventure even if we are just hanging out together at home.  I remember within the first few weeks of being married we played catch while laying in bed and laughed ourselves silly.  Just the other night we were in bed cracking up at my inability to make sound effects.  He is my best friend.  He understands me, knows me, and cherishes me.  Life without him would be empty.  I'm forever grateful that God has worked within us as individuals and as a couple.

Now for those of you who may be wondering, I will continue to blog and post pictures with about the same regularity.  I appreciate those who have followed me on this journey that has helped shape my blog and I hope you stick around for whatever comes next!