Girls Only: Part Two

Check out Part One before reading Part Two!

Love your hair

Ok, this I certainly know something about.  If you know anything about me, or even just see me, you know I care about my hair.  I could be dressed to the nines, but that doesn't amount to a hill of beans if I'm having a bad hair day.  A bad haircut and I feel in the dumps for two weeks.  Hair is important!  Now, it may not be as important to you as it is to me, but no one can deny how a good hair day lifts one's spirits.  And if you are one of those ladies who couldn't care less about your hair (and trust me, we know who you are) you should try loving your hair and see if it changes your confidence level.

First and foremost, find a hairdresser you like and stick with her.  She will come to know your hair intimately, how you style it, what products you use and what products may work better, how much volume it has, what other styles may be better suited for your hair and face shape, how much you are willing to "risk" and change when it comes to your most important accessory.  A knowledgable hairdresser is one of your best fashion tools.

Communicate with your hairdresser.  No one knows what you want better than you.  Bring in pictures to give her an idea of what you are looking for and don't be afraid to ask her to change something.  Even if she is totally offended (which she won't be), you will leave the salon and she won't give your haircut a second thought.  You on the other hand have to face yourself everyday so leave happy.

Beauty magazines instruct women not to care about the price of a good haircut and to some extent, I agree.  However, not all of us are rolling deep in the green and have no choice but to consider the cost.  So instead I suggest that you find a hairdresser you like and tip her generously.  A happy hairdresser will make time for you, be more open to criticism and requests, and be willing to take the extra time to ensure your happiness with your do.

You wear it everyday so love your hair.

Love yourself

All the clothes in the world and the perfect hair day won't do squat if you first don't love yourself.  Sure, those things may help make some days better than others, but it is only temporary.  The root of the issue is women accepting themselves.

I know this is easier (MUCH easier) said than done and I still have to grow in this area as well.  A lot has been said on this topic and I'm sure the typical advice, cliches, and mantras are already running through your mind.   So instead of giving you the run of the mill answers here, I'd like to share one practice that has helped me overcome a lot of my own insecurities.

Early in my marriage, I began getting ready for the day in the nude.  A book I read suggested such and I thought I'd give it a try.  At first it was weird and awkward; I felt exposed (obviously) and vulnerable (can you feel vulnerable with yourself?).  But slowly I became comfortable with myself.  Without trying I focused less on what I viewed as imperfections and began seeing the whole.  I noticed little unique features I wouldn't have otherwise and gained an appreciation for the body God gave me.  Then one day I found myself struggling to find an outfit that did my naked figure justice.  I certainly don't feel like this every day, but through this practice I have become very comfortable with my body and have shed a lot of my insecurities.  I now know my body very well and that knowledge has impacted my confidence more than I could have imagined. At times I still lack confidence, I still compare myself to others, I still become jealous, I still feel undesirable, but the frequency is less and has become much more manageable.  I owe it all to the 45 minutes I spend with my bare self every day.

Love others

God designed us to be others focused.  When we love on others, when we compliment and encourage our girlfriends, when we take a friend out who couldn't otherwise afford to, when we listen to someone in need, when we take the focus off of ourselves, God fills us with an unquenchable joy.  Being a servant is fulfilling.  One of the simplest ways I do this is by complimenting strangers.  Being caught off guard, they welcome my compliment and smile.  I'm glad to bring a little joy to their lives, but I believe I get more out of this small act than they do.  What is something you can do on a regular basis to take the focus off of yourself and love others?

As I said, I am no expert when it comes to being comfortable and confident in my own skin, but I've learned a few things, read a few books, picked up a few tips from magazines, and over time overcome a lot of my own insecurities.  I hope that something I've put into practice over the past few years can assist you in your journey.  And I could still use some improvement so if you have other confidence boosting practices, please share!

By the way, you look amazing today!